Black Label Suicides

It's a beautiful, warm spring morning and a man and his wife are spending the day at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. He's wearing his normal jeans and a T-shirt. The zoo is not very busy this morning. As they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large hairy gorilla. ...

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer brewers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers: 1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra. 2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think ...

A little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, ''7 feet 3 inches tall, 385 pounds, 12 inch penis, 2 pound left testicle, 2 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.'' The small guy faints away and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down ...

A man is sitting in a plane which is about to take off when another man with a dog occupies the empty seats alongside. The dog takes the middle seat, and his handler explains that they work for the airline. ''Don't mind Rover,'' the handler says, ''he is a sniffer dog, the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne and I set him to ...

he ate rotten meat out of the garbage and got botchulism( not spelled right) and became a parapeligic for about 7 months. he only regained use of 3 legs. the otherone tendens are messed up so he can't use it.

thanks,queen and scuba, queen he is 3 years old..

ya know, my dogs nickname is tripod also.

name/nickname:amanda/ (ppl just call me amanda) Age: 22 gender: female    Location:pa Maritial statis:got a bf race:basically white generial interest: reading, watching haunted stuff, teaching my kid fave game:r63 fave game:spider solitare, magicball hobbies:reading, drawing, writing    lifestyle: i am a pet groomer ...

How do you keep 4 blondes entertained in a bar? Turn the bar stool upside down One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on her butt and said, 'You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle.' While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence. The ...

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Mr. Sui Tansow Pok, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report: Most honorable sir: You leave house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she get on train. I ...